Contraband: “Goods that have been imported or exported illegally; trade in smuggled goods” (Oxford English Dictionary).

I hadn’t heard the word used for years, until I started hanging around prisons. “Contraband” is in common use there, referring to any of a wide range of prohibited items brought in without permission. Guns, drugs, and explosives (duh), but also cameras, cigarettes, and cell phones.

We were reminded about the cell phone prohibition the hard way when one of us inadvertently forgot she had her cell phone in her pocket. That resulted in an “incident report” being filed by a zealous corrections officer.

To be fair, the prison had had a rash of contraband issues involving cell phones and the C.O.’s responsible for entrance procedures were on notice to be extra rigorous enforcing the rules. Contraband is taken very seriously, not a laughing matter.

Although contraband is not ordinarily a humorous topic, the Word of God can lighten up the most dreary of topics. I think it was during a Circle in December that this happened at the prison.

We meet in the chapel. The woman sitting next to me in Circle had a cup of water with her, on the floor next to her chair. At some point she knocked it over and spilled the water, apologizing profusely. No big deal, except I had forgotten the tissues that day. I looked around for something to dab up the water, and there was a roll of toilet paper conveniently placed on a table near the pulpit (I assume to function as tissues for tears and runny noses). That did the job and we went on with our story-learning activities.

A while later the cup again got tipped over with the same result. Again I looked around for something to soak up the water. Where was that handy toilet paper? Then one of the women said, “Ms. Amelia, it’s in your bag.” Another woman teased, “Ms. Amelia, are you trying to sneak that toilet paper outta here?” “Now, how did that get in my bag?!” I said innocently.

My tune changed to one of gratitude. “Whew, thanks for telling me.” They had saved me from committing reverse contraband.